{my thoughts}
God is so good.…toys ever.
ok, we are due for a lil chat.
you and me.
my sister was on a hunt for the perfect tea set.
so while we were on the phone i started googling…
this is what i found!
i’m telling you.
the best tea set ever.
along with one of the best company’s ever!
we got lizzie this tea set for christmas…
a couple of her cousins are new owners of the set as well.
i’m telling you.
this company is awesome!!!
check out their other products.
i know a lil 6 month old man that is IN LOVE with this recycling truck.
i’m telling you!
buy their toys.
they are awesome!
click on the pictures for a direct link to their website.
we shopped on amazon.com
their toys are sold lots of places.
pottery barn kids
creative kidstuff at jordan creek
to name a few.
christmas day we spent with eric’s family.
christmas morning here with just us three really wasn’t what i expected.
we hoped for a nice quiet, cuddly morning.
and got a tired grouchy sickly morning.
eric got only a couple hours sleep through out the night.
i got maybe 4.
thankfully! lizzie slept all night.
eric was dealing with lots of water pouring into the basement.
he’s definitely motivated to fix that now.
this was the first time it happened during the night and he had to deal with it.
what a mess.
thankful he was here to help me.
since i was in the bathroom sick for several hours.
*sigh*
so christmas morning was prepping for lunch and after at denny and penny’s and attempting to recover from the night before – impossible to do, really.
christmas at d & p’s was super fun and we are so blessed and spoiled.
i think the pictures and video tell all.
don’t you. 
merry christmas to you and yours!
i pray you and yours aren’t all caught up in the hype and do remember why we are doing what we are doing.
stop. refocus.
i’ll post pictures from christmas eve with my family when i get the pictures. i know the photographers are all tired and recovering from christmases too – so we’ll just have to be patient. but the cousins had a BLAST! and we had fun giving!
found the perfect solution for my left over yarn. isn’t it sweet. 
this is what i’ve been up to.
oh this just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.
i absolutely love these cocoon’s.
aren’t they just the bomb!!
i’m working on another brown one like you see here
and also a green one from lion brand organic cotton.
i have two more finished cocoons that i don’t have pictures of the finished sack.
one is homespun by lion brand yarn
and another is white cotton with funfur yarn added to just the top.
super cute for christmas time.
thinking an etsy store may be in order here…
in the mean time, i’m accepting orders. 
i’m posting this here for my future reference.
i never, ever want to lose this recipe.
i’m telling you what.
these are the bestest, ever!
seriously.
what brownie gets better each day.
what brownie gets more fudgey each day.
just look at it.
YUM!
you just can’t go wrong with this.
click on the picture for recipe or see below.
Ingredients
- 1 cup unsalted butter
- 2 1/4 cups sugar
- 1 1/4 cups Double-Dutch Dark Cocoa or Dutch-process cocoa
- 1 tablespoon espresso powder
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
- 4 large eggs
- 1 1/2 cups King Arthur Unbleached All-Purpose Flour
- 2 cups chocolate chips
- 1 cup chopped nuts, optional
Directions
| Preheat the oven to 350°F. Lightly grease a 10″ x 15″ jelly roll pan or a 9″ x 13″ pan. For guaranteed easy removal of the brownies, line the greased pan with parchment, and grease the parchment. |
| 1) In a microwave-safe bowl, or in a saucepan set over low heat, melt the butter. |
| 2) Add the sugar, stirring to combine. Remove from heat. |
| 3) Stir in the cocoa, espresso powder, salt, baking powder, and vanilla. |
| 4) Whisk in the eggs, stirring until smooth. |
| 5) Add the flour, chips, and optional nuts, again stirring until smooth. |
| 6) Spoon the batter into the prepared pan. |
| 7) Bake the brownies for 28 to 34 minutes, until a cake tester inserted into the center comes out clean. The brownies should feel set on the edges, and barely set in the center. |
 Remove the brownies from the oven, and cool for at least 1 hour before cutting. |
| 9) Use a 1 1/2″ round cutter to cut as many circles as possible (about 46) out of the brownies in a 10″ x 15″ pan. You’ll get about 38 from a 9″ x 13″ pan. Wrap well; enjoy the leftover scraps. |
| 10) Just before serving, garnish the brownies with whipped cream, shaved chocolate, and a dusting of espresso powder. |
i should mention too, that i do not use nuts or espresso powder.
i also am in love with lining the 9×13 with unbleached parchment paper… then i’m only dirtying a pan. the 9×13 just needs a quick wash.
i did anticipate or try to prepare myself mentally for a certain level of anxiety.
super annoying anxiety
like what i struggle with
is often not triggered by circumstances.
circumstantial doesn’t make me physically ill for hours.
environmental and other issues can be the cause.
(the article linked above is a good description of what happens to me and why it’s debilitating. screen capture below)
i have been doing a lot the past few days and been exposing myself to more than usual.
not a good start to the christmas season. 
you can pick any given time for a panic attack.
and i’m not more stressed that day than days prior.
it’s just one day, my body grows overwhelmed, and it hits the fan.
that was last night, in the middle of the night.
i’m tired.
and wishing i weren’t back here.
trying to convince myself i won’t be here long.
that i’m not giving in.
i’m tired.
exhausted, really.
weak.
but able to eat.
to baking and tag making, here we come.
i thought i missed my kitchen before.
nope.
i miss it now, like never before.
i don’t miss not having a christmas tree this year.
it’s where we are at.
our charlie brown tree on the end table from mema penny is perfect.
i am still at a loss as to where to keep the presents safe from debri and concrete dust.
what i do miss is a kitchen.
a real kitchen.
with countertop height counters.
not table height.
and so many more things.
i best not list or i’ll be crying midway through.
i am still excited to do all the baking and cooking i’ve offered to do for each of the christmas’.
i’m just bummed.
i don’t enjoy it like i used to.
when i had a kitchen.
please don’t feel too sorry for me.
we are very blessed.
i’m just saying…
i miss my kitchen.
and march can’t come soon enough.
i originally purchased this lil cherry chef outfit for anya but she already got it for christmas! so i gave it to lizzie. she wasn’t sure what to think. then auntie amanda posted pictures of anya and henry wearing theirs and she was convinced it was cool!
then she decided she need to dance and twirl in it and knocked over a tall glass. poo! so we spent the next 20 minutes cleaning. this concrete floor is no good for my glasses.
has it been a while? it seems like it’s been some time since i’ve posted pictures.
makes the thirteenth week.
today is 13 weeks and 4 days – to be exact.
well exact is debatable.
depending on which date you go by.
i’m 14 weeks tomorrow by one date.
so let’s add “ish” and call it good.
i’ve been focusing on eating even more and drinking even more water.
have had a couple rough days this week.
not fun!
haven’t felt the baby much.
one day i felt the bean like crazy…
… then nothing for days.
so sad!
i suppose that’s when trust comes in.
trusting that i really am pregnant.
and there really is a bean in there.
why is that so hard??
i’m thrilled to be out of first tri.
excited for the future.
did i mention, scared to death as well.
oh the feelings a pregnancy resurfaces.
saturday i went shopping for tops for me.
i feel so blessed that target had some very cute tops
that are just my style and over 50% off without twisted seams.
what a steal!
now just to find jeans.
why is it so hard!
this week we’ve been wrapping a few christmas presents here and there.
anxiously meeting the ups man loaded down with boxes of christmas presents.
lizzie has successfully unwrapped one present.
lil stinker.
i’ve been a knitting machine.
enjoying knitting for two dear friends
and for lizzie.
lizzie has a cute neck warmer
and a bitty baby cocoon. (i’ll add a picture to this post when i’m finished with it later today)
then i’m planning to start knitting for this lil bean of mine.
i am thrilled that i have a girl first name idea that i am head over heals for.
at this point i don’t want to say what the name is.
but it means, God’s vow.
wow.
cool stuff.
still leaning towards our original boy name.
still searching for a middle girl name.
last time with lizzie.
her name was totally divine.
hit both eric and i at the same moment.
there was no doubt what we were to name our first born.
at this point.
i’m not feeling that.
yet, it’s still early.
happy weekend!
