Archive for 07/20/2008

boundaries

Posted: 07/20/2008 in Uncategorized

maybe ya’ll have this figured out and i’m alone with this struggle… your boundaries are established and haven’t been crossed for years or no one has even attempted to cross your boundaries ever because this is something that has come naturally to you- well to you, i am jealous!

people cross my boundaries because i have this part of my personality (i try to please you) that makes me seem “weak”. oh but i am not! but boy do i want you to walk away happy! but when i do whatever it takes for you to walk away happy, i go away angry. well to you, who are used to me fudging my boundary to make you happy- i’m finished! you are in for a shocker! (no worries, readers, i’m not talking to you! really i don’t think i’m speaking to anyone directly, i think it’s more of a personal thing.) but having boundaries does NOT mean i’m mean!!!!!!

from this point forward, i understand the fine (more bold for some people) line drawn between serving and a unhealthy wishy washy people pleasing attitude. i’m tired of it! it’s draining. i no longer put your feelings before mine. here are my boundaries and i am taking back control and not allowing you to take advantage.

this not about control. this is about being responsible for my own feelings. being responsible enough to say, i can’t do that for you, i offered/am offering to do this and no more… i’m in control of my own happiness/joy and this is what needs to be in place to make sure i am happy! and with my happiness comes, being a good mother and daughter, teaching liz how to do the same so she can have a balanced life, to be a good wife by being a cheerful helpmate to my husband… wow all these good things come just because i draw a simple line and kindly say, “nope- too much! i won’t enable you!!!!”

don’t get me wrong! i love to help and will always be available for you to ask! but i now reserve the right to say NO! when i say “it’s too much” it best be respected or i will stop all i am doing to help! i can not do everything nor will i attempt. that means- if you ask me to do something for you because you have decided to go back on your word and not do what you said you would do- don’t expect me to follow you around like a sick puppy and pick up after you or make you look good when you did NOTHING you said you would do! tee hee! why?! cuz that’s me enabling you to be deceitful and lie! needless to say, there’s been some of that going on in my professional life lately… and my line is being drawn!

so i realize- i don’t like to vent on this thing… i like to keep this blog jolly and like to be choosey with what i share, but tonight, my hubby is at a movie and i need to vent. : ) so maybe this blog can turn into something positive! like maybe you are being taken advantage of and need reminded that you don’t have to tolerate it! you are in charge of your own happiness and only you can change it. : ) nighty night!