i’m not just going to deal with it then…

Posted: 08/27/2008 in Uncategorized

my sisters and i have been talking A LOT about teenagers (i’m growing to dislike this word very much) “jumping ship” – being the “typical teen” and rebelling etc. I refuse to just give in to having young adults act like this. i won’t tolerate it in my home and it won’t even be a problem! why? (well honestly, i’m going to watch my sisters very closely and copy them! lol) but even more so because i’m going to “train up my child in the way he/she should go” not just simply let things slide and let them find who they are by allowing them to do anything and everything. at this point in my life it’s not letting lizzie go through the kitchen opening up every drawer and cabinet and pull every book off of every bookshelf in the house. i will not allow her to do this. this is not proper and i would feel horribly embarressed if she went into someone else’s home or a store and start doing this. so why would i let it in my own home. 

tomorrow it will be something else, in 2 years something else, 15 years it will be something else, but at what point do parents decided things are just phases and really feel comfortable sitting back and waiting for the phase to end. have you ever asked them how that worked out for them?! (ask yourselves as adults if an attitude problem is just a phase or does it manifest itself in a deeper part of your life and then even deeper…??) do the terrible two’s ever end??! have you ever asked someone who tolerated the terrible twos if they ever ended? i have! and it just became the terrible 3’s and the terrible 4’s, with more tantrums and more tantrums. 

well i refuse to give in to this way of thinking and the lifestyle the majority has chosen!!!
what i’m using to help me stay focused when training gets tough!

oh and this one too  

why my young adult children will not be jumping ship you may think i’m naive and have no idea what i’ve got comin’ – ok, you just watch then… : ) this will be fun! (i can’t wait to read back on this blog 15 years from now!!!!)

  1. mariemmiller says:

    Breanna you make me miss the difficult days of toddlers! Okay, maybe not the terrible 3’s, but definitely the excitement and the utter fear of wanting your own child to be the perfect human being and not the completely normal human that you once were. You are so “spot on” when you talk about training them up in the way that they SHOULD go. As parent’s, it’s our job to give them the toolbox and then gradually back away while they master their craft! Just as you wouldn’t entrust a 24-month old with a chain saw, neither would you begrudge a 12-year old a hammer and nails to attempt to build the clubhouse so that they can exclude “icky girls”. As the mother of a college student who has yet to “rebel” (kinda wishing she would a little bit), be careful with phrases like “not allow” and “not acceptable”. Of course, it “should never” be a free-for-all, but those absolutes are what get us into trouble. It is the very nature of an adolescent to rebel from their parents and it is an important part of becoming who they were meant to be.(it doesn’t have to be dangerous behavior) I totally believe in discipline and boundaries, but it was my experience that if Jordan had some part in the decision making rather than blindly following “my commands, my way” she was less tempted to disagree. Yet the outcome was still positive…nobody got hurt in the process. That method worked for me when she was 1, 9, 16, and even still at 19.
    I’m just saying…the tantrums evolve over time and it’s not okay to go into someone’s house and start pulling everything out on the floor when you’re…hmmm…old enough to ask for what you want, but if you never pulled things out on the floor, how would you ever learn to put things back where they belong?

    You sound like an awesome mommy and I love that you like to “talk” out and work thru your frustrations and challenges for us to share!
    I can’t wait to formally meet Lizzie in a few hours!
    Love you,
    Marie, Classically untrained child psychology and behavioral expert.

  2. breanna says:

    thanks for your comment!! see ya soon!

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