rgt (raising godly tomatoes)

Posted: 02/05/2009 in family, learning, parenting

imagesfinally! i’ve gotten back to some reading. 

after being outside of the home working (taking lizzie faith with me but constantly distracting her with movies and toys; lets just not talk about the fact i just cut a banana up and turned on veggietales so i could blog!) this is where we are at. we have work to do (but when won’t we…).

elizabeth (author or raising godly tomatoes) specifically says:

don’t distract your child when you should be confronting him and disciplining him. 

my first thought was, “sweet, we don’t do this!” then i literally laughed out loud. this is why i keep 4 different kinds of snacks in the diaper bag at ALL times for church, the shopping cart, the carseat… *sigh* man!!! i feel like i just got caught!! i think sometimes i use the snacks as an appropriate distraction, so please don’t get me wrong, but especially in the last couple weeks – i’ve used them inappropriately doing more damage than good… 

if you distract him or move the forbidden object out of reach, you have taught him nothing – certainly not self-control. 

follow this rule (of not distracting) and you’ll be ninety-nine percent of the way there with a little one.

how encouraging!!! now on to the next thing.

don’t issue warnings. 

my first reaction is to issue a warning. this is selfish – simply so i can finish my task in a hurry in the next 30 sec before i have to “deal” with her… i see how bad this is. 

if the child does not respond to my initial verbal instruction, i spank. (a swat on the diapered button for shock value) it’s quick, simple and easily understood. no psychological mind games, no manipulation, no guilt. and for mom, there’s no anger, frustration, or fatigue.

yay! doesn’t that sounds great! i feel like more often than not, in public, i feel like i’m walking on eggshells so everything goes smoothly. she’s very well behaved so this is not something that should even be going through my mind. i hear how silly it is! there is a much better way!!!! i can’t wait to be there! 🙂 

i’m really big into pointing out when i’m being manipulated or when i’m manipulating someone. i feel like it’s a struggle for me and it needs this additional attention to make sure it is known, it is not welcome in my house! 

don’t employ mind games to shame or manipulate a child into obeying. such manipulation will only prepare your child to eventually become a manipulative, insecure, passive-aggressive, angry, or self-center adult. (those things do NOT sound good to me!) it is wrong to manipulate adults so it needs to be enforced that it is wrong amongst babies/toddlers. 

be open, direct and straight forward, so your child will see your example and learn to do the same. 

let’s just put it this way: i’ll be working on this within myself… this is a weakness of mine!

because of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. you will know them by their fruits.  – matthew 7:15-16

this is a good reminder for me… this helps me discern if advice is worth applying or simply in-one-ear-out-the-other. “you will know them by their fruits” – i want to be known by my fruit. i want my children to be a true example of the kind of fruit a true christian family bares. 

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  1. Shonya says:

    That website/book is chock-full of excellent advice, imo! Now on to application. . . 🙂

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