Archive for March, 2010

spring!

Posted: 03/31/2010 in lizzie faith

i’m rounding up some outside toys for lizzie… i totally forgot about this! if lizzie only knew it was ready for her – she would NEVER be sleeping right now.

he he! i imagine a really fun post loaded with pictures and a video later.

28

Posted: 03/30/2010 in baby bean #2

well lil peanut,

you sure are growing. you are still measuring right along with your big sister. so you make me think you will be late in coming to greet us just like her! i’ll try to be a bit more patient this time, deal? and if you feel like, you can sure come a touch sooner than she did! mommy wouldn’t mind one. bit.!

from the outside though, we would NEVER think you were growing a touch slower than average… mommy feels quite huge most days! but who’s setting the normals anyway. πŸ™‚

lizzie is excited to meet you. people in public ask her if she is going to be a big sister and she ignores them like she doesn’t know what they are saying. then we get home in private and she talks on and on about you. i love how lizzie LOVES to play peek-a-boo with you. i think you are going to be a pro at this game by 3 months old since she’s started teaching you so early.

you’ve only had the hiccups once. mommy did not like it! and couldn’t figure out why you weren’t obeying when i was telling you to hold still. you typically do obey. (i only expect the baby to be still if it’s 10pm at night or later)… then the next day other’s were talking about their babes having hiccups and i realized, oh you poor thing! you had the hiccups! so mommy took more calcium and so far, no more hiccups. πŸ™‚ sorry peanut!!!

i’m so thrilled you finally decided to show off your kicking skills to your daddy. i think he was beginning to think i was making it all up. you gave mommy a good painful whack and daddy’s eyes got huge. no need to touch my tummy to feel that one, or even be sitting in the same chair. yea, it was a big one. let’s not do those too often, k, kiddo! they aren’t fun for mommy!

have fun in there!!! it’s not so fun out here in the real world sometimes! so enjoy mommy’s tummy while you can! πŸ™‚

we are so close to being on our own.

“home owners” i think we’ll be called. yet i still feel like the bank owns us. we don’t own much of this house. we do own some – maybe Β tenth, but not much at all. yet some how we are still called “home owners”. hmm. weird.

anyway!

the appraisal came in. shwoo! such a relief for them to get it back so quickly. but for what they charge… i’ll just stop there. let’s just say, it’s not expecting too much. here’s the appraisers photos. it felt weird to me. since i didn’t take them. it feels like it’s someone else’s house.

we close at the bank saturday morning or monday afternoon. thankful. i am anxious for the month of april and all of it’s bills and unknowns to be over and done with. this will be a huge sigh of relief.

i’m so thankful spring is here!

the windows are open.

the sun is shining.

lizzie is outside scooping rocks, scooping rocks and blowin bubbles. we need to bring her swingset out of storage so she can swing her lil heart out.

oh how refreshing spring is!

prayer

Posted: 03/29/2010 in learning, me, spiritual growth

so i’ve been mulling this over now for well over a year. it’s so huge i don’t think i’ll ever arrive at a destination. it’s one of those things that God is so huge, i only get an ounce of a concept because that’s all my peabrain can handle.

i used to pray with the idea that no matter what as long as i prayed about it, it would come out like i expected/hoped/believed.

praying for the rain to stop last spring/summer – well that didn’t go over well. praying for some health issues – well those didn’t just simply go away without serious effort from many… you are getting my drift right?! my prayer life wasn’t exactly what i think God wanted it to be. my prayers were driven by selfish motive. a genie in a bottle kind of expectation. i honestly justified it. thinking, i know the sunday school answers, but what i’m praying for is for the greater good. and why would He not want to answer them. they are just so obviously needing answered and in the way i’ve thought up, cuz that’s just obviously the most perfect way. riiiiiiiiight.

instead of evaluating my prayer life and adapting it to what God wanted it to be. i was so fed up and exasperated i just stopped praying all together. who wants to talk to a brick wall? this is what it felt like anyway. but by my own doing. i knew this even at the time. but was so ticked i didn’t even want to attempt to reconcile this part of my life.

along side this, we aren’t attending church. we aren’t involved at.all. we aren’t considered regular attenders anymore by any means. regular tithers. regular crusaders. the go-to couple, we were before. nothing. this allowed me to really look at this part of life in a whole different way. a lot of things bothered me. eric and i talked about it A LOT! feeling like we were never coming to any conclusions by the end of the looooong conversations. just seemed like an on-going problem that would never be resolved. seriously. and no church is excempt from these problems. so going to a different church really didn’t/doesn’t feel like any sort of solution. yet swooping in and attempting to turn it upside really is NOT the way to go. πŸ™‚ Β a given for some, not a given for trail blazers. πŸ™‚ we tend to plow now, think later. not cool. there is a place for me, but i need to know my place.

january comes along. i have this moment that is completely God. not me. didn’t happen through prayer. but a moment that slammed me upside the head and is one of those moments you just can’t run from. and it just so happened to be the solution to both of my issues. WOW! it was just one of those moments. you know what i’m talking about? it was the result of obeying, from the outside, would seem like a simple task. the fruit of obedience still overwhelms me. this experience showed me that praying scripture over situations is the way to go. not telling myself over and over again something positive (joel osteen/ joyce meyer kinda junk – i’m talking john macarthur, j. vernon mcgee stuff!) or simply ignoring the negative things going on around me. but acknowledging the problem. knowing i can’t do a thing about it, or if i can, i will do what i can. but then it’s not me. it’s God. and it’s beyond me. i’m not talking about praying for a parking space. i’m talking about praying for someone’s soul or praying against strongholds. or physically fighting wrong, flat out wrong belief systems.

ok a whole novel and you are thinking, where in the world is she going with this?

i guess i want to ask you what you think. not your sunday school answers. but your well thought out, soul searching deep, answer.

do you pray for others when they ask you to? do you intercede in a true, deep, on your knees crying out kind of way sometimes? and other times just a simple, “God you know the need…” kind of way? do you feel guilty when it’s the later and not the former?

do you think that praying for say, a sickness to go away is something that is done successfully and if so, how? how often is it a result of an action we took (side effects from a vaccine, exposed to a virus from someone else, food dye, pork, etc.)? in this case we would be begging for mercy for something we brought on ourselves. (bad example maybe, but i honestly can’t think of another right now… OH! i just thought of one, say starting to build a house in spring – rainy season vs waiting until july and having to fight the rain until july all the while praying and complaining for it to stop raining on us and ruining all our plans… it’s like WOW! the world is bigger than you and the rain can’t just stop and start at every individual’s needs.)

how do you pray for health? pray for a healthy baby? but this world is a sin-filled world. it’s not heaven. so we will have unhealthy children. disabled Β children. hardships. things we wish we wouldn’t have to deal with. things our children didn’t have to deal with. but disabilities or not. do you attempt to pray those hardships away? when we know full well, there is no real solution but heaven. and each hardship CAN be or COULD be used for God’s glory. so in praying for these situations to be eliminated, i’m praying for one less opportunity for God’s glory to shine. well that doesn’t seem right. but i don’t think he causes hardships to bring Glory to him. i believe that sin or this world CAN be used by him. but not caused by him.

so tell me, how do you pray? what do you pray for? what does it look like to you?

me personally, i’m sticking with praying scripture. this is something i’ve not done often. and i think this may just be the perfect place for me right now in this very confusing time for me. a dear friend of mine was so excited to hear this above journey – seeing the refining process and what is happening thrilled her. me, not so much. it’s uncomfortable and i don’t like feeling this confused. i do see the benefit of it. i do see the progress being made by this refining. but still so very unsure of myself. i feel like a calf trying to stand up for the first time. very vulnerable. so if you are wondering why i can’t get through signing a song. or expressing myself when you ask me how i’m really REALLY truly doing – you just might get tears instead of gushing about a house or some earthly thing, you might just get the soul deep stuff. the stuff that comes from singing and truly meaning this:

(click the photo and then click “we will worship you”)

“you are our only hope. for all we have to lose is our very soul. save us from these comforts. break us of our need for the familiar. spare us any joy that’s not of you. and we will worship you”

organizing

Posted: 03/27/2010 in house, lizzie faith, pictures

wow! what a good feeling!

the perfectionist in me is just turning to mush.

lovin’ this!

simple. clean. classy. timeless.

exactly what i imagined!

lizzie absolutely LOVES her drawer! and i do too!!! it’s so fun and colorful! she loves having it at her level.

do you see that???

RUNNING WATER!!!!!

wow!

i keep forgetting that i don’t have to walk to the bathroom to use the sink. LOL

it might take a few days before everything sets in…

still in awe that my dishwasher runs without me “driving it” to another room and plugging it into a sink faucet.

*sigh*

the simple things!

the little things

Posted: 03/26/2010 in house, hubby

i’m sure i will forget.

but i hope i don’t take advantage.

of eric and how his presence in our family completely blesses lizzie and i.

eric went grocery shopping with us last night for the first time in a year.

i’m not exaggerating.

we giggled (well lizzie giggled) and laughed and had a blast.

lizzie showed off in the car on the way to kville.

we usually use that time to practice our numbers, abc’s and days of the week.

she is counting to 20 (with a little help around 13,14,15).

and her days of the week down (with a little help around thursday and friday). sunday is her FAVORITE!

thanks to signing time she also knows the signs for the days of the week and her abc’s.

she recognizes all of the manual alphabet but can not sign them all. that is hard to practice in the car while mommy is driving. πŸ™‚ so we are farther behind on those.

daddy was impressed, i think.

we had to drag him out of home depot by his belt loop too.

we should have just left him there while we went to hyvee and walmart.

poor guy hasn’t been out in the real world to just mindlessly be for, ooooh, about a year.

thinking he is gonna need some re-culturing.

i’m SO excited! the cabinet/countertop maker, my brother in law ben will be here sometime today to finish the last oiling on the countertop.

then it’s just a matter of waiting until tomorrow night to set anything on it.

so today and tomorrow during the day, while i’m waiting,

i’ll be moving our kitchen up! EEK! appliances will go in tonight.

(i think this will be really hard on me. they are our old free and cheap appliances from when we got married… but this is here as a reminder to me, to be humble, thankful in everything, and it’s all a journey and we never arrive. and new appliances in a new house mean NOTHING and are just appliances doing their job. it’s just that they don’t match and are really going to look REALLY bad against my awesome kitchen. LOL but oh well!)

i think eric said he’ll work on hooking up the water up here tomorrow.

i think we’ll have camp-out type meals for tonight and tomorrow.

oh what fun!

i can. not. wait!

my baby is so much happier when i’m not going up and down those stairs 50 x’s a day for food and such.

i think my bladder will appreciate not being squished or dropped down on while going down the stairs any longer too.

oh the little things. πŸ˜€

have a great weekend everyone!!!

(hey! when did ya’ll turn into silent stockers anyway?? i see the stats and the traffic feed. i know you are all still coming, but cat got your tongue?? πŸ˜‰ i so love all you guys’ comments!!!!!!!)

*deep sigh*

Posted: 03/25/2010 in house, hubby, lizzie faith, pictures

the appraiser was here yesterday morning…

we passed.

shwoo!

there’s still lots unfinished – but technically, we are finished. (in the bank’s eyes and in the sense of having the ability to resell it or the bank to resell it in the event we don’t pay up. can you imagine doing all this work and not being able to stay here. oh how awful!)

after the appraiser was here, slowly, we realized how deep we could breath and we slowly felt the weight of the last year lifting… how nice!!!

proof.

i think lizzie’s going to love having her daddy back and i think her daddy is going to love being around even more! πŸ™‚