Posted: 04/26/2011 in learning, life, spiritual growth

in this season of my life i’m evaluating friends.

most of mine are over an hour away and we all keep touch on a daily basis through facebook and email. we do a lot of the same crafting and with our same ups and downs in life and like-mindedness either spiritually or family care, i could see us all spending so much more time together if we all lived closer to each other.

this causes me to mourn the depth these relationships could go to, but because we are long distance they just can’t go that deep. most days, i’m ok with this. and i realize these friends live in osky, dm, maine, ks, ottumwa, lancaster . . .  i can’t live every where, so i have to find peace and be thankful for what i do have!

with our closest local friends moving away in 3 weeks – this brings this issue up to the surface in a new light.

i once again find myself praying continuously through out the day for one more thing, dear friends that live HERE. i prayed this for 5 years, and got it for one year. i’m so very thankful! it’s worth the effort… i can not hide that it is discouraging to be alone again.

BUT i have realized one thing that i didn’t realize before when i was praying for this for 5 years. a lot of this has to do with me – more so than i realized. we have friends that we just click with on a spiritual level (similar minded spiritually and learn from the scripture the same way), we have friends that naturally take care of their family the same way, eat the same way, we have friends that we have known forever that have just always been there … each of these are priceless. then you have the friendship that just clicks, on a deeper level. you don’t know why or how. it just works. it’s effortless and it just is. this type of relationship is simply such a blessing. it’s emotionally freeing. you can just be with these people…

now this part i didn’t realize before. driving people away… sure, boundaries are good. we must keep negative people at arms length, etc. etc. that aside, if i sit here and i drive people away by not answering the phone when they seek me out, by not reaching out to them and helping them with what they are trying to do, by not taking the first step in helping them go through this crazy life, then why would anyone feel comfortable coming to me? they don’t. i don’t blame them. i can’t blame them.

my conclusion.

here we are. doing life together. the best way we know how. each of us needs cut a little slack…. i have made so many mistakes when it comes to relationships in the last 10 years, it’s horribly embarrassing. in the last 6 months this has been so present in my mind… changes have been made.  God has really been working on me especially in the area of compassion and pointing out my flaws.

as dear friends leave this area and turn into another long distant relationship, i look forward to making new friends and deepening the relationships i have ruined or kept at arms length. what a humbling place to be.

Proverbs 17:17
friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

  1. I love you Brea!! You’ve always been a wonderful friend to me and I’m so blessed to know you. I’ll be praying as God works on your heart in this area and for you to hear all He has to offer you in this space and time in your walk with Him. I’ll also be looking forward to answered prayers regarding new friends and to testimony’s of what God did inside of you during your hiatus between! You’re awesome!!! xoxoxo

  2. Traci says:

    I forunately figured this out a couple years ago. It’s so nice to have friends that are effortless relationships, but I know so many great people who don’t think or live like I do. If I secluded myself completely then I would never have an opportuinty to witness to others. I’ve found many that will take me as I am. Then there are others that challenge my beliefs and in return it strengthened my convictions or opened my eyes to the bigger picture. I think it’s great to have friends from all walks of life(in real life…face to face), it’s helps teach me to be more humble and more compassionate. 🙂

  3. Tessie Biggers says:


    I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told my husband about this girl (you) I met online that’s just like me in alot of ways and how I wish we lived closer! We go to a really big church and I’ve found that many of the acquaintances I’ve made haven’t become friends either Bc they’re just ( Sunday Christians) or they’re really just not um… real.

    I think you do just fine. (but thats just me) You encouraged and helped me so much getting started breastfeeding. And to think we met over a random search for a homemade laundry detergent recipe!

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